One after another. Last week my dream job offer came, then happened the urticaria. It was itching & burning like hell! I had a dentist appointment that I missed as of the severe and constant itching all over. Went to a doctor about it and he said: “We don’t know why urticaria happens. (Doctors, eh?) Just take these antihistamines. There is no cure (I know hun) but you can manage the symptoms.” Another auto-immune! Well, I took those antihistamines and they made me sleep all day and forgot about the dental problem.
I’ve just watched2 Days, 1 Night movie starring Marion Cotillard, who was laid off during her sick leave as she was suffering from depression. She was informed informally by her coworker about this. Very similar to my case. But…
As I look back now, my case was far worse than her:
1. Economically, she was married and her husband also works, they own their own place and car, so no rent but a mortgage, which they can make a second mortgage or sell it as they own it.
I did not have anything, no car, no house and a high rent, not because my 50m2 flat is good but I live in a cosmopolitan city.
I did not have mortgage but had rent and payments of my PhD. I did not own anything worthy to sell.
So, economically I was worse off 🙂
2. Socially, she has people around her, a supporting positive-thinking husband who encourages her to fight for her job. I did not even have a boyfriend 🙂 She has two kids who are lovely. I do not even own a cat or a flower 🙂
3. Psychologically, my whole life was my career. For her, it was no more than a money-making job. I had major depression, was on sick leave for 3 days although she was for months. On the third day, I received an informal call like hers and they said “You are kicked out”. No voting, no chance to fight for it. It just happened. The worst thing was that, my so-called colleagues did not even say something against it. I was the one who had hired some of them. Can you believe that ?
It is like being stabbed from everywhere…
All the depression plus my auto-immune diseases including fibromyalgia, leaky gut, IBS, alopecia areata, urticaria, lichen planus plus candida, migraines, food allergies, fatigue etc. it is a miracle that I am still alive 🙂
Look where I am now. Quite a breakthrough? No, but maybe some breakthrough. At least, I am trying. Thanks to you, I have a reason to write. Some days were harder than the others for the past month, and those days, the only reason that I woke up was to write my blog and “try to try”.