I want to thank my tooth infection as it:
Well, it was a horrific week with lots of toothache, headache, tooth infection, fever, sleepless nights, lots of painkillers, 4 different antibiotics in a row, severe diarrhea and gas due to that, many many visits to the dental hospital, severe doses of anesthesia, 3 hours long dental operation, lots of bleeding, severe bone infection, fight with the landowner about contract renewal, having less than 100$ on bank account, unnecesary calls from the ex’es on Valentine’s Day (I guess they call everyone on their lists, and I basically told them to fuck off), severe fatigue, severe depression…
This toothache is killing me head.
Another round of antibiotics are killing my gut.
My landowner sent me an SMS “Increase the rent payment 100% or get out”
I feel so alone today. I cannot fix anything.
I have good luck and bad luck at the same time.
One after another. Last week my dream job offer came, then happened the urticaria. It was itching & burning like hell! I had a dentist appointment that I missed as of the severe and constant itching all over. Went to a doctor about it and he said: “We don’t know why urticaria happens. (Doctors, eh?) Just take these antihistamines. There is no cure (I know hun) but you can manage the symptoms.” Another auto-immune! Well, I took those antihistamines and they made me sleep all day and forgot about the dental problem.
There are some days like my yesterday, when you got tired of emotions. My “so called” coach friends made me tired, my chronic auto-immune diseases made me tired, my dissociative body made me tired. I was sad and very emotional.
You’ve had those days too. Hard days. The next day, the body and the mind gets too tired and react towards all these tiring stuff. That is a stage called apathy. It is like you are watching yourself like a theatre show from a distance. You do not control, you do not react, you do not get into any conversation with your mind. It is like one-day retirement of emotions.
It is a morphine effect of body when severely injured and the pain is too much to feel, body shots down the pain receptors in the brain. Today is one of these days for me. Shut down. Emotionless. Retiring for one day.
I just watched some movies from the list, took my painkillers and antibiotics for my tooth, took my probiotics for my gut like I am a machine. So automatic. So (e)motionless.
Tomorrow I plan to get back to myself with more will power. But today, today I will be a eyewitness to myself. Today I just don’t feel like doing anything…
Like in poker. I will just pass this time.
Tomorrow, I will be better.
Love,
Alex
I am not happy today. It was all going good. Now I am back to where I was 3 weeks ago.
My stomach aches, I have severe diarrhea due to antibiotics although I have many supplements of probiotics etc.
As an extra, I have a fever due to tooth infection and 2 new cold sores appeared today because of that. I also have a sinus infection. So, pain doubled in my head.
I was watching Avengers and all I was thinking during the movie was: “Oh Thor, can you come and hit my jar with your hammer and end this please?”
A new one is added to my long list of auto-immunes, I now have Alopecia areata too. I am losing my hair. Doctor says that it could be another fungal infection or just without reason.
I’ve read website of National AA Foundation and try not to cry right now.
My hair is already very short and now I will shave it all. It looks so bad mostly on the left side in the front.
I will put garlic on my scalp but it will take time to regrow (if it regrows I hope)
Today, is not a good one. But I will keep on writing and trying. Not dead yet…
Love,
Alex
Tooth – still aching but less 🙂
Movies – Gandhi (1982), Lagaan: Once Upon a Time in India (2001) and Apocalypse Now (1979) are done 🙂
Brain fog due to painkillers – Sad but true 🙂
Maybe The Avengers (2012) help 🙂
I was just getting better and now I am turning back where I’ve started…
Antibiotics again which will kill all the probiotics and increase gut candida 😦
The dentist said I should use it or he cannot operate on my tooth and it will infect my body severely.
I feel not desperate but little bit angry towards myself. I should have finished the dental business before I started gut and candida treatment.
Oh! 🙂 Sometimes it is too much, isn’t it? Thank God, I am still alive and I can blog :)))
I will continue to probiotics and other treatments but this week my progress will probably slow down a lot. I hope, I won’t need to use antibiotics for at least 6 months until I heal my gut.
Sometimes life does not even give lemons, then I just drink water 🙂
I haven’t until today. I had a really bad tootache and put some tea tree oil to a tiny cotton ball and put it onto my tooth for 10 minutes. It stopped instantly and relieved me from a terrible ache for an hour. I will go to dentist tomorrow, so I should spend this night with an aching tooth. Thank God, there is something that heals everything: Tea tree oil!
Of course, this is not a cure, however it is definitely healthier and more effective than taking painkillers 🙂
I also used it for my cold sore at the corner of my mouth, when it was beginning to itch & grow this morning. With tea tree oil, its growth has stopped! I think tomorrow it would be even smaller. Normally, when I have a cold sore, it stays about 7-10 days and it grows very fast on the first day. Tea tree oil worked to stop its growth so I will keep on using it tomorrow.
Give it a try 🙂 I hope you don’t need it. I will post again on this topic and let you know the progress.
The cold sore thing shows that my immune system is not great although I keep getting better. Therefore, I should not assume that I am healed if I see an improvement. It will take time and effort. I’ve already accepted that fact but this time I am not depressed at all. I have had quite a breakthrough in the last 2 weeks and will keep on healing. Different from before, I have hope.
Stay healthy,
Alex
My 35 Project 