What’s my problem? I’ve just put in words what I’ve known for the past 35 years.

I realized something very problematic about myself, which I knew all along but could not speak out.

The problem is, I have neither been a list person nor a conscientious one towards myself. The goals that I used to commit were only about career/work/academic achievement, but not about personal well-being, happiness, private life, health etc.

That was the problem about me, I’ve put me in a second or a lower 🙂 place, including celebrating success. I worked more, when I had a successful day in the office. Now, when I see myself without a job, it is normal to see myself as a big “nothing” 🙂

I will be changing the idea of “myself” mostly 🙂 For the first time in my life 🙂

Thank you so much 🙂 Please keep following my blog/me redefining myself and gaining back my self-respect 🙂

Thank you Evadeville for reminding me the importance of celebrating myself 🙂

Alex

Update :) More than movies or cooking…

2 down 2 to go :

Alfred Hitchcock  watchlist:

Lunch cooked, eaten, dinner is being cooked, poached pumking dessert cooked (I made a huge pot of it from 2kgs of pumpkin for the whole week haha 🙂

I still have the PhD thesis defense thing and it bothers me a little as I did nothing about it. So, I decided to admit that tomorrow in front of a committee of professors including a dean 🙂

Sorry, I have nothing to lose now. I am trying to survive, to get healty, to increase my self-esteem, self-respect etc.

Not more than a month ago I was such a mess and now I reached a level of self-success of getting the control of my mind&body back. Thesis and the committe should wait.

If they fail me tomorrow, I will not despair. If they pass me I will not be relieved either. So, I am quite indifferent, why worry then?

🙂

I wish I was like this when I was younger when I thought that life was a race. Now, I see that all that it counts is me, and I don’t feel like racing any more, instead I feel like having what I want and when I want.

As Gregory House (main character of House MD TV show) said once 

“You are an adult, you don’t HAVE TO do anything!”

Well, isn’t it the best part of being one 🙂

Love,

Alex