Organizing and dreaming all day…

Today, I organized my home, cleaned up a little bit, made some shopping, walked for an hour, took notes about everything as I forget them the next minute…

And, mostly I dreamt about what I want from my life!

There are so many things to do 🙂

I also made some lists on IMDb just for fun… OMG, I’ve watched a lot of movies and TV series. I mean, thousands of them. When did I do that? I guess, accumulating little by little works if you really love what you are doing. So, doing small things everyday become thousands one day. I want to develop a work environment like this. Do the best I do and do my favorite things every day. Here are my favorite things and I am good at them too:

– Travel & walk: I can walk for hours and I fit in everywhere.

– Meet new people who are different than me: I can learn just by watching. New excites me.

– Help people to create their vision in life: I am a psychologist and a life coach, I can talk people out of their existing place towards a more desired one.

– Write: I really love writing for an audience. That is you 🙂 I write really fast.

– Dream: I can do this all day long 🙂 It is my elixir of life

Healthy people can be cruel…

I was talking to one of my friends today on the phone. I told him about my situation and he simply said that:

“Oh honey, it is your negative thoughts which creates your illnesses. You are creating allergies yourself. You are very depressed, that’s why you have those auto-immune problems.”

Source: http://www.wweek.com/extra/3546/lede1.jpg

I had to be very angry or sad but I only laughed. That person is trying to become a life-coach. He has some certificate which he gave $15000 to get. Not an ICF one of course. I cannot even consider him as a friend any more.

Can you go in front of a person with cancer or MS and say that? “Oh, honey, your negative thoughts created this! Now, let me help you with coaching!” What kind of an approach is this? Cancer and MS are the two of the most severe auto-immune diseases today.

I believe in positive psychology, I am a psychologist for God’s sake. But neither psychology nor medical sciences found a cure for auto-immune diseases. The only thing I need now are friends not like him.

Healthy people are very cruel sometimes, and the psychologists are the ones who lack emphaty the most.

I have to say, what is worse than a disease without a cure, is a person who blames you for this.

Alex

Why New Year’s resolutions do not work but goals do?

Hey all,

As a psychologist and a former 10+ yrs experienced Project Manager in Consulting and a woman who really sucks at resolutions 😛 I want to address the ultimate 01.01.2015 problem:

1. New year resolutions do not have deadlines or project plans.

If you do not have a plan or deadline, you will always have tomorrow, next week or month to do it.

Regardless of when you start, you should know when to finish. Also, you should have a roadmap to follow. Roadmaps and deadlines can be modified. There are no rules. But, they should be set.

2. New year resolutions are not clear. 

Do more of this, do less of this are not clear. Define more and less. Use percentages, numbers, counts.

Spend more time with family is not a clear goal. It is a wish. Set the goal with clarity. Spend 2 hours of quality time with family? Not there yet. Define quality time. What do you consider as high or low quality? Maybe you should ask your family and gather more data on clarifying what to do in that 2 precious hours.

3. New year resolutions are too hard to reach because they include changing habits or personality.

Becoming more patient organized cannot be a goal as it is strongly linked to your personality. Do not waste time changing it. It never works.

In order to set a clear goal, discover why you want to be more patient or organized. Where will you use it? Will it contribute your success in your business, your relationships? Then, why don’t you set success in your business or relationships as a goal rather than changing yourself, change your relation quality.

Love,

Alex