Tag: house

I am a case study even worse than Cotillard…

I’ve just watched 2 Days, 1 Night movie starring Marion Cotillard, who was laid off during her sick leave as she was suffering from depression. She was informed informally by her coworker about this. Very similar to my case. But…

As I look back now, my case was far worse than her:

1. Economically, she was married and her husband also works, they own their own place and car, so no rent but a mortgage, which they can make a second mortgage or sell it as they own it.

I did not have anything, no car, no house and a high rent, not because my 50m2 flat is good but I live in a cosmopolitan city.

I did not have mortgage but had rent and payments of my PhD. I did not own anything worthy to sell.

So, economically I was worse off 🙂

2. Socially, she has people around her, a supporting positive-thinking husband who encourages her to fight for her job. I did not even have a boyfriend 🙂 She has two kids who are lovely. I do not even own a cat or a flower 🙂

3. Psychologically, my whole life was my career. For her, it was no more than a money-making job. I had major depression, was on sick leave for 3 days although she was for months. On the third day, I received an informal call like hers and they said “You are kicked out”. No voting, no chance to fight for it. It just happened. The worst thing was that, my so-called colleagues did not even say something against it. I was the one who had hired some of them. Can you believe that ?

It is like being stabbed from everywhere…

All the depression plus my auto-immune diseases including fibromyalgia, leaky gut, IBS, alopecia areata, urticaria, lichen planus plus candida, migraines, food allergies, fatigue etc. it is a miracle that I am still alive 🙂

Look where I am now. Quite a breakthrough? No, but maybe some breakthrough. At least, I am trying. Thanks to you, I have a reason to write. Some days were harder than the others for the past month, and those days, the only reason that I woke up was to write my blog and “try to try”. 

Thank you for making me wanting to try everyday…

Love,

Alex

Update :) More than movies or cooking…

2 down 2 to go :

Alfred Hitchcock  watchlist:

Lunch cooked, eaten, dinner is being cooked, poached pumking dessert cooked (I made a huge pot of it from 2kgs of pumpkin for the whole week haha 🙂

I still have the PhD thesis defense thing and it bothers me a little as I did nothing about it. So, I decided to admit that tomorrow in front of a committee of professors including a dean 🙂

Sorry, I have nothing to lose now. I am trying to survive, to get healty, to increase my self-esteem, self-respect etc.

Not more than a month ago I was such a mess and now I reached a level of self-success of getting the control of my mind&body back. Thesis and the committe should wait.

If they fail me tomorrow, I will not despair. If they pass me I will not be relieved either. So, I am quite indifferent, why worry then?

🙂

I wish I was like this when I was younger when I thought that life was a race. Now, I see that all that it counts is me, and I don’t feel like racing any more, instead I feel like having what I want and when I want.

As Gregory House (main character of House MD TV show) said once 

“You are an adult, you don’t HAVE TO do anything!”

Well, isn’t it the best part of being one 🙂

Love,

Alex