Healing back…

I am healing, slow but progress it is!

I am also starting a new project about my professional image. I am also working on my business, such as preparing a business plan etc.

Have news for you! The screenplay meeting with the director was amazing :)

This is my first time for writing a screenplay ever and the director said “Good job!”

Not certain yet, but I will probably be hosting the show!

The screenplay will be sent to the production firm on Monday and it will meet the project manager of the TV channel on Tuesday. Afterwards, we will wait for maybe 2 days maybe 2 months 🙂 Fingers crossed!

Today also one of my friends called and we talked for 2 hours. I missed girl-talk! Girlfriends are the best!

So far so good, and soooooo happy 🙂

Alex

Finished writing the screenplay of the pilot episode :)

Today, I will have a meeting with the director 🙂 I am so so so excited 🙂

As I try to write the screenplay down, which took 17 pages for the first episode, I had to learn about writing for screen. It was harder than I thought. However, this made me learn how to do it for my filmmaking project. So, if this documentary do not pass the producers, it will be ok for me as the time I’ve spent is worth it on the learning basis!

Love,

Alex

I am a case study even worse than Cotillard…

I’ve just watched 2 Days, 1 Night movie starring Marion Cotillard, who was laid off during her sick leave as she was suffering from depression. She was informed informally by her coworker about this. Very similar to my case. But…

As I look back now, my case was far worse than her:

1. Economically, she was married and her husband also works, they own their own place and car, so no rent but a mortgage, which they can make a second mortgage or sell it as they own it.

I did not have anything, no car, no house and a high rent, not because my 50m2 flat is good but I live in a cosmopolitan city.

I did not have mortgage but had rent and payments of my PhD. I did not own anything worthy to sell.

So, economically I was worse off 🙂

2. Socially, she has people around her, a supporting positive-thinking husband who encourages her to fight for her job. I did not even have a boyfriend 🙂 She has two kids who are lovely. I do not even own a cat or a flower 🙂

3. Psychologically, my whole life was my career. For her, it was no more than a money-making job. I had major depression, was on sick leave for 3 days although she was for months. On the third day, I received an informal call like hers and they said “You are kicked out”. No voting, no chance to fight for it. It just happened. The worst thing was that, my so-called colleagues did not even say something against it. I was the one who had hired some of them. Can you believe that ?

It is like being stabbed from everywhere…

All the depression plus my auto-immune diseases including fibromyalgia, leaky gut, IBS, alopecia areata, urticaria, lichen planus plus candida, migraines, food allergies, fatigue etc. it is a miracle that I am still alive 🙂

Look where I am now. Quite a breakthrough? No, but maybe some breakthrough. At least, I am trying. Thanks to you, I have a reason to write. Some days were harder than the others for the past month, and those days, the only reason that I woke up was to write my blog and “try to try”. 

Thank you for making me wanting to try everyday…

Love,

Alex

The weightloss project does not go so good :)

Yeah well, I’ve been very lazy 🙂

What I am (Some instant poetry for you from Alex)

WHAT I AM…

I was just offered a writing/consulting job for a documentary project on TV!

I received a phone call from a film director friend of mine today. About 2 months ago I told him that I have an idea for a documentary on everyday psychology and I thought about the pilot already. I told him and he liked it. However, I did not write it down as I thought that “This will be rejected by the TV producers anyway” I was not that hopeful thanks to my depression.

Today he said, he told my idea to a producer and he accepted to present the pilot to a TV channel and he wants me to get my ass down and write the script for the pilot this week. If the pilot passes, there will ve 13 episodes in total. I am so hopeful this time. For the next 2 days I will be working on that. This Wednesday the pilot script will be ready and sent to the channel!

If accepted in the first round, we will produce the pilot and if they like it, I will be writing 12 more episodes. They are also thinking to make me the presenter of the show but I want to keep my role at minimum on screen.

Organizing and dreaming all day…

Today, I organized my home, cleaned up a little bit, made some shopping, walked for an hour, took notes about everything as I forget them the next minute…

And, mostly I dreamt about what I want from my life!

There are so many things to do 🙂

I also made some lists on IMDb just for fun… OMG, I’ve watched a lot of movies and TV series. I mean, thousands of them. When did I do that? I guess, accumulating little by little works if you really love what you are doing. So, doing small things everyday become thousands one day. I want to develop a work environment like this. Do the best I do and do my favorite things every day. Here are my favorite things and I am good at them too:

– Travel & walk: I can walk for hours and I fit in everywhere.

– Meet new people who are different than me: I can learn just by watching. New excites me.

– Help people to create their vision in life: I am a psychologist and a life coach, I can talk people out of their existing place towards a more desired one.

– Write: I really love writing for an audience. That is you 🙂 I write really fast.

– Dream: I can do this all day long 🙂 It is my elixir of life

I decided to be alone this year…

I do not know why but men have been quite interested in me recently. I do not even feel beautiful that much these days. Within this last week (after my disasterous date experience) quite a few people around me have been constantly calling, asking me out etc. I told them very honestly that I want something for the rest of my life and I am done with dating. I want to get settled down when I feel sure of someone.

So I have kept my distance towards them and this honesty really worked fine for me. Men started to act more respectful. I told them that we were friends, they do not owe me any promises and they can do whatever they want with their lives. They started to call me more?!?!

I really do not understand men.

I do not understand the women who made them this way either.

I just want a peaceful life with myself this year. It will be my 3rd year alone and I have no room for disappointments. So, decided to keep my distance. First, I want a trustful friendship, maybe later, in time, it will grow as a relationship. If it won’t I would not be crying.

So, let’s get to business and projects 🙂 No men, no cry 🙂

Love,

Alex

My self-portrait for January 2015

January was about being content with my loneliness and healing.

What’s better than nature for healing?

Self portrait – Jan 2015

I spent my 2 days of this last week out in nature every day.

My hair has grown a little.

I had some disappointments in the past few days.

I know it will pass. I will never let anyone make me feel bad so I got rid of him.

I came to myself with your help.

At the end, it is me, myself and you dear reader 🙂 

Thank you for making me love me again.

Alex