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January 25, 2015

29

Nope, he turned out to be “just the same as others”…

by Alex - Project Lady

I haven’t included “love” or “a relationship” in my projects because I don’t think they should be handled like a goal/project. Love should be magical and sudden. It should be surprising and full of excitement.

This does not mean I do not want love in my life, but I want to go slow. 

I’ve met someone 3 days ago. He was super nice to me. Very kind and keen to meet. Our first date was very promising as we talked and laughed a lot. I told him about my fears about getting hurt again and he said ok.

He wanted to see me the next day and we met again.

We spent the whole day together and it was fun, later in the evening he wanted to spend the night together and I said no. (What about going slow my friend?) He said ok and I went home.

Today, although we decided yesterday to meet up again and go to the beach, he was late, making me wait for him like an hour. However, I did not want to get upset as it was such a nice day today. I tried not to nag about it but while we were out he did not talk to me like 4 hours.

OMG, it was the lamest date ever. When he started talking he criticized everything around us including people, cars, shopkeepers, food, weather, dogs, cats etc. He did not even smile and gave me a silent treatment most of the time.

Why was I putting up with this? Why was I tolerating this? I really do not know. I wanted to talk openly and all he said was how upset he was with me as I did not spend the night with him yesterday. He said he had doubts about starting a relationship with me. Sad but true.  

I felt really worthless. I cried a little. Not for what he said, but for my stupid, childish heart which keep falling for these kind of idiots who try to get what they want by making others miserable, blaming them for nothing.

I admit, I am a hopeless romantic, who never cheated on anyone, who believes in love without expectations, who cares for others more than herself. I cannot be a selfish woman. However, I learned how to protect me from people who do not respect me. 

So I said goodbye.

Today, I was really happy, now my energy is drained and I feel really tired. I need you, reader…

Stupid Alex

Edited later that day:

After writing this post I deleted his number and put it in Autoreject list, also blocked him from Instagram, Whatsapp and Facebook in 5 minutes. I am proud of my decision for not letting him contact me ever again. I will let noone hurt me. After several hours, he tried to call many times (as I saw on Autoreject notifications) and sent me several SMS (I do not know how to block them :)) He is still trying to understand why I did this. I did not even care to explain.

Thank you for being there for me. I felt really strong with your support!

Love

Strong Alex 🙂

29 Comments Post a comment
  1. Jan 25 2015

    (((hugs)))
    Well, I am proud of you! You were brave enough to try, to give it a go 🙂
    You had two enjoyable dates and a lucky escape. Altho it wasn’t luck – it was your own self awareness and self respect that saved you from possibly getting badly hurt and used.
    It’s disappointing he turned out to be another shit. But better to know now, with your self respect uncompromised, than a bit (or much) further down the line.
    So yes, I am proud of you. You should be proud of yourself too!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Jan 26 2015

      Thank you 🙂 I am proud of myself but sad at the same time as I could not understand it from the first date. I kinda wasted my time on him. He messed up a really nice day I could spend alone 🙂 I should be more careful next time. This year is about my personal revolution but not about making these kind of hypocrites happy.

      Thank you for supporting me 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  2. Jan 25 2015

    First off my dear friend repeat after me I am NOT STUPID, I AM NOT STUPID!

    Matters of the heart confuse and confound the best of men and women. This boy and that’s what he is would be in the category of all boys looking for one thing and one thing only, a conquest.

    Don’t give up on love, your Mister Right is out there just give it time. I am proud of you for trying and don’t stop trying but keep your standards high! ((((Big Gentle Bear Hugs)))))

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Jan 26 2015

      I would understand if he was in his 20s but he is nearly 40! He should have become a man by this age, right? 🙂 Well I assumed so…

      I am stupid as I never see the signs before my heart is broken 🙂

      I am not stupid as to accept his every wish though 🙂

      Thank you sooo much 🙂 Hug you back 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • Jan 27 2015

        Keep on keeping on. OH by the way I have a program I use on my phone that blocks texts. Advanced Mobile Care it is a free program.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Jan 27 2015

        Thank you 🙂
        I will definitely use that 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Jan 27 2015

        Glad I could help my beautiful friend!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Jan 25 2015

    There’s always a next time, Alex, ‘another fish in the sea’.You’ll find the one for you, one day. Don’t give up, just yet.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Jan 26 2015

      I wish that fish will find me this time. I am so tired 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  4. Jan 25 2015

    Well you know what, you did the right thing, you tried and leave him when you saw who he truly was… It’s sad that you had such a bad day with him but now you know that it wouldn’t have worked with him! You don’t need a negative person like him in your life, you try to be happy no ashamed of yourself. *hug from France*

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Jan 26 2015

      Thank you so much 🙂 I give myself 3 days to get rid of him from my head 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  5. Jamie
    Jan 25 2015

    Wanting a spend the night after the second date? Glad you didn’t waste any more time with him!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Jan 26 2015

      They all act their gentleman roles really well and I always fall for that. I thought he was different. That’s why I am mad at myself.

      Like

      Reply
      • Jamie
        Jan 27 2015

        Don’t be mad at yourself! It happens, a way to help yourself though, is to go even slower than you did with this one… No shame in that!

        Like

  6. cocofloat
    Jan 26 2015

    Hey Alex! Don’t be mad at yourself, people are capable of deceiving others and use the tactic too often for comfort. Be happy that you had the awareness required to get out of that situation before you could have got hurt more. It’s always tough as I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough but do not give into anything that makes you uneasy! Self-love above everything else! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Jan 26 2015

      You are so right. He tried a tactic but it blew up on his face.
      He is now calling me desperately, I blocked/autorejected him from everywhere…
      I will never let someone hurt me again…

      Like

      Reply
      • cocofloat
        Jan 31 2015

        Yes! Exactly. Never give up your power to anyone else. You do not need someone other than you to complete you. You are complete. If it sounds like sage advice, don’t worry, I learned it the hard way too. Very hard. But I am stronger for it now. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Jan 31 2015

        🙂 Thank you… I think strength comes with these hard ways. We learn best from them.

        Like

  7. Heather
    Jan 27 2015

    Never, EVER let someone control you like that! A significant other will wait for you for as long as it takes. True love does live, and it doesn’t push you around or make you feel bad about decisions you make about yourself and your heart. You did the right thing. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Jan 27 2015

      thank you 🙂 sooooo much 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  8. Jan 27 2015

    This is the first time I have visited your blog, and this is the only post I have read.I admire and respect your courage and honesty. Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all want to be loved (Yes, even some men want more than sex). Don’t build walls, thinking fortification gives security. Strength comes through not giving up, but also not giving in to suggestions that doing something you don’t want to do will gain you acceptance. That guy would have found something else wrong with you, even if you had slept with him. Be strong, wise, and yet open to love.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Jan 27 2015

      🙂 Thank you so much!
      I loved how you think. You are right…

      He tries to call me now as I gained worth because I blocked him. How stupid! I don’t like stupid guys 🙂 That is my only criterion 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  9. Jan 27 2015

    You did the right thing. He sounds like a selfish jerk. You need to work on your self … selfconfidence, selfworth, and loving yourself. I’d like to see you change your avatar. You sound like such a sweet young lady. Take care of yourself. Be strong.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Jan 27 2015

      I will change my avatar today 🙂
      I think you have the instinct!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  10. Helen Lin
    Jan 27 2015

    you definitely made the right decision. he sounded like a pouty baby just because you didnt want to spend the night. over reaction!!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Jan 27 2015

      🙂 yes he was exactly like that. A baby crying over a candy bar. He just did not see that I have a self-worth more than a candy. I am not a desirable product I am a human being 🙂

      Like

      Reply

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. From “stupid” to “strong” Alex :) | My 35 Project
  2. Page Not Found | | My 35 Project
  3. I decided to be alone this year… | My 35 Project

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