Nope, he turned out to be “just the same as others”…

I haven’t included “love” or “a relationship” in my projects because I don’t think they should be handled like a goal/project. Love should be magical and sudden. It should be surprising and full of excitement.

This does not mean I do not want love in my life, but I want to go slow. 

I’ve met someone 3 days ago. He was super nice to me. Very kind and keen to meet. Our first date was very promising as we talked and laughed a lot. I told him about my fears about getting hurt again and he said ok.

He wanted to see me the next day and we met again.

We spent the whole day together and it was fun, later in the evening he wanted to spend the night together and I said no. (What about going slow my friend?) He said ok and I went home.

Today, although we decided yesterday to meet up again and go to the beach, he was late, making me wait for him like an hour. However, I did not want to get upset as it was such a nice day today. I tried not to nag about it but while we were out he did not talk to me like 4 hours.

OMG, it was the lamest date ever. When he started talking he criticized everything around us including people, cars, shopkeepers, food, weather, dogs, cats etc. He did not even smile and gave me a silent treatment most of the time.

Why was I putting up with this? Why was I tolerating this? I really do not know. I wanted to talk openly and all he said was how upset he was with me as I did not spend the night with him yesterday. He said he had doubts about starting a relationship with me. Sad but true.  

I felt really worthless. I cried a little. Not for what he said, but for my stupid, childish heart which keep falling for these kind of idiots who try to get what they want by making others miserable, blaming them for nothing.

I admit, I am a hopeless romantic, who never cheated on anyone, who believes in love without expectations, who cares for others more than herself. I cannot be a selfish woman. However, I learned how to protect me from people who do not respect me. 

So I said goodbye.

Today, I was really happy, now my energy is drained and I feel really tired. I need you, reader…

Stupid Alex

Edited later that day:

After writing this post I deleted his number and put it in Autoreject list, also blocked him from Instagram, Whatsapp and Facebook in 5 minutes. I am proud of my decision for not letting him contact me ever again. I will let noone hurt me. After several hours, he tried to call many times (as I saw on Autoreject notifications) and sent me several SMS (I do not know how to block them :)) He is still trying to understand why I did this. I did not even care to explain.

Thank you for being there for me. I felt really strong with your support!

Love

Strong Alex 🙂

Published by

Alex - Project Lady

35 year old woman who has hit the rock bottom tryin to get up again and reach her 35 dreams I am a psychologist who suffers from major depression and severe fibromyalgia. It was all about career to me. But today, I have no job, no husband, no kids. Alone. And, I want to change my fucking life.

29 thoughts on “Nope, he turned out to be “just the same as others”…”

  1. (((hugs)))
    Well, I am proud of you! You were brave enough to try, to give it a go 🙂
    You had two enjoyable dates and a lucky escape. Altho it wasn’t luck – it was your own self awareness and self respect that saved you from possibly getting badly hurt and used.
    It’s disappointing he turned out to be another shit. But better to know now, with your self respect uncompromised, than a bit (or much) further down the line.
    So yes, I am proud of you. You should be proud of yourself too!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you 🙂 I am proud of myself but sad at the same time as I could not understand it from the first date. I kinda wasted my time on him. He messed up a really nice day I could spend alone 🙂 I should be more careful next time. This year is about my personal revolution but not about making these kind of hypocrites happy.

      Thank you for supporting me 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. First off my dear friend repeat after me I am NOT STUPID, I AM NOT STUPID!

    Matters of the heart confuse and confound the best of men and women. This boy and that’s what he is would be in the category of all boys looking for one thing and one thing only, a conquest.

    Don’t give up on love, your Mister Right is out there just give it time. I am proud of you for trying and don’t stop trying but keep your standards high! ((((Big Gentle Bear Hugs)))))

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I would understand if he was in his 20s but he is nearly 40! He should have become a man by this age, right? 🙂 Well I assumed so…

      I am stupid as I never see the signs before my heart is broken 🙂

      I am not stupid as to accept his every wish though 🙂

      Thank you sooo much 🙂 Hug you back 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Well you know what, you did the right thing, you tried and leave him when you saw who he truly was… It’s sad that you had such a bad day with him but now you know that it wouldn’t have worked with him! You don’t need a negative person like him in your life, you try to be happy no ashamed of yourself. *hug from France*

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Don’t be mad at yourself! It happens, a way to help yourself though, is to go even slower than you did with this one… No shame in that!

        Like

  4. Hey Alex! Don’t be mad at yourself, people are capable of deceiving others and use the tactic too often for comfort. Be happy that you had the awareness required to get out of that situation before you could have got hurt more. It’s always tough as I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough but do not give into anything that makes you uneasy! Self-love above everything else! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes! Exactly. Never give up your power to anyone else. You do not need someone other than you to complete you. You are complete. If it sounds like sage advice, don’t worry, I learned it the hard way too. Very hard. But I am stronger for it now. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Never, EVER let someone control you like that! A significant other will wait for you for as long as it takes. True love does live, and it doesn’t push you around or make you feel bad about decisions you make about yourself and your heart. You did the right thing. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is the first time I have visited your blog, and this is the only post I have read.I admire and respect your courage and honesty. Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all want to be loved (Yes, even some men want more than sex). Don’t build walls, thinking fortification gives security. Strength comes through not giving up, but also not giving in to suggestions that doing something you don’t want to do will gain you acceptance. That guy would have found something else wrong with you, even if you had slept with him. Be strong, wise, and yet open to love.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. You did the right thing. He sounds like a selfish jerk. You need to work on your self … selfconfidence, selfworth, and loving yourself. I’d like to see you change your avatar. You sound like such a sweet young lady. Take care of yourself. Be strong.

    Liked by 1 person

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