One of those days with that morphine effect…

There are some days like my yesterday, when you got tired of emotions. My “so called” coach friends made me tired, my chronic auto-immune diseases made me tired, my dissociative body made me tired. I was sad and very emotional.

You’ve had those days too. Hard days. The next day, the body and the mind gets too tired and react towards all these tiring stuff. That is a stage called apathy. It is like you are watching yourself like a theatre show from a distance. You do not control, you do not react, you do not get into any conversation with your mind. It is like one-day retirement of emotions.

Source: http://www.gurl.com/2012/03/10/cats-sleeping-in-weird-places/
Source: http://www.gurl.com

It is a morphine effect of body when severely injured and the pain is too much to feel, body shots down the pain receptors in the brain. Today is one of these days for me. Shut down. Emotionless. Retiring for one day.

I just watched some movies from the list, took my painkillers and antibiotics for my tooth, took my probiotics for my gut like I am a machine. So automatic. So (e)motionless.

Tomorrow I plan to get back to myself with more will power. But today, today I will be a eyewitness to myself. Today I just don’t feel like doing anything…

Like in poker. I will just pass this time.

Tomorrow, I will be better.

Love,

Alex

Published by

Alex - Project Lady

35 year old woman who has hit the rock bottom tryin to get up again and reach her 35 dreams I am a psychologist who suffers from major depression and severe fibromyalgia. It was all about career to me. But today, I have no job, no husband, no kids. Alone. And, I want to change my fucking life.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s