What’s my problem? I’ve just put in words what I’ve known for the past 35 years.

I realized something very problematic about myself, which I knew all along but could not speak out.

The problem is, I have neither been a list person nor a conscientious one towards myself. The goals that I used to commit were only about career/work/academic achievement, but not about personal well-being, happiness, private life, health etc.

That was the problem about me, I’ve put me in a second or a lower 🙂 place, including celebrating success. I worked more, when I had a successful day in the office. Now, when I see myself without a job, it is normal to see myself as a big “nothing” 🙂

I will be changing the idea of “myself” mostly 🙂 For the first time in my life 🙂

Thank you so much 🙂 Please keep following my blog/me redefining myself and gaining back my self-respect 🙂

Thank you Evadeville for reminding me the importance of celebrating myself 🙂


Published by

Alex - Project Lady

35 year old woman who has hit the rock bottom tryin to get up again and reach her 35 dreams I am a psychologist who suffers from major depression and severe fibromyalgia. It was all about career to me. But today, I have no job, no husband, no kids. Alone. And, I want to change my fucking life.

16 thoughts on “What’s my problem? I’ve just put in words what I’ve known for the past 35 years.”

  1. Your work life doesn’t define you but is only part of what you do 🙂 I really think you should try mediation, it’d help you find your true self and gain that self-respect 🙂
    good luck !!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Life is full of trade-offs. One of your most important commodities is your time. The more you work, the more you will earn (in general – not always the case), but the less time you have to spend on being clever about things such as finding smarter ways of achieving your goals or buying the essential things you need. Some people choose not to work, but to invest significant time in entering competitions, collecting coupons, or finding new uses for old possessions. You always have to spend some of your time on sleeping and eating, but as you have shown in your blog, by investing a little more time in preparing suitable meals, you can improve your health giving you more time available for other positive activities. Even being in a relationship is a trade-off where you will spend more of your free time doing unrewarding things that you wouldn’t do when you are single (such as sitting through a film that you’d rather not watch, but your partner wants to), but it also gives you the chance to spend more of your free time doing very rewarding things that are more difficult or impossible when you are single (and I’m not just talking about bedroom activities). Have a look at how you are apportioning your time. If a large amount of it is spent on activities from which you gain relatively little, then something needs to change. You need to think carefully about what you gain from your activities, though, as people who do voluntary work gain a great deal of personal satisfaction without any tangible reward. This helps towards a rewarding life which can improve the quality of your sleep which, in turn, can improve your health – giving you more time available for other rewarding activities.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are so right! Even cutting the hours of whining from my life saved me quite a lot of time 🙂
      I liked every single sentence that you wrote.
      I can even measure what I gain and what I give with a Likert-scale 🙂 Thank you so much 🙂


  3. I love lists. I enjoy checking off items as I accomplish them. Simple things like calling someone back, lunch with my wife, 30 minute workout, … Even scheduling start and stop times. If I give myself 30 minutes to blog, then it ensures I don’t waste my day getting caught up in an endless loop of great posts. And I don’t do it first thing in the morning. This all ensures I get time for self development, exercise, and family time.


  4. If you asked me to introduce myself, my typical answer would be “I am a 34 year-old Accountant and Philosophy student.”

    But I am not my career. I am proud of it but it is not ME. Neither am I my age nor my sex. Nor am I this body or this mind.

    Truth is all of this is mine, but it is NOT ME.

    So, how should we look at ourselves. Who Am I?

    Well simply put, I am pure and beautiful, untainted and eternal. I am the light of consciousness within. I am God and God is me.

    Don’t hate yourself Alex. You are the same pure, untainted entity as every being in this Universe. You are simply the witness that this world was made for. You are the thing that sees. Everything around you has been produced for you to see and experience. Just be the witness. And know that. Nothing else.

    [Sorry to hit you with Indian Philosophy, but it is very powerful in defining the Self and making us feel good about it]


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