Hey all,
As a psychologist and a former 10+ yrs experienced Project Manager in Consulting and a woman who really sucks at resolutions 😛 I want to address the ultimate 01.01.2015 problem:
Why New Year’s resolutions do not work but goals do?
1. New year resolutions do not have deadlines or project plans.
If you do not have a plan or deadline, you will always have tomorrow, next week or month to do it.
Regardless of when you start, you should know when to finish. Also, you should have a roadmap to follow. Roadmaps and deadlines can be modified. There are no rules. But, they should be set.
2. New year resolutions are not clear.
Do more of this, do less of this are not clear. Define more and less. Use percentages, numbers, counts.
Spend more time with family is not a clear goal. It is a wish. Set the goal with clarity. Spend 2 hours of quality time with family? Not there yet. Define quality time. What do you consider as high or low quality? Maybe you should ask your family and gather more data on clarifying what to do in that 2 precious hours.
3. New year resolutions are too hard to reach because they include changing habits or personality.
Becoming more patient organized cannot be a goal as it is strongly linked to your personality. Do not waste time changing it. It never works.
In order to set a clear goal, discover why you want to be more patient or organized. Where will you use it? Will it contribute your success in your business, your relationships? Then, why don’t you set success in your business or relationships as a goal rather than changing yourself, change your relation quality.
Love,
Alex
Reblogged this on Idiot Writing and commented:
…and here is the linear strategic perspective and step by step (you know all that stuff I JUST can NOT write like) of WHY resolutions are SUCKY! …. splendiferous! THANKS!!
LikeLike
Thank you 🙂
Keep in touch 🙂
LikeLike
You are welcome.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agreed!
Leslie
LikeLike
Thank you Leslie 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love this!! Totally makes sense!! No resolutions!! Just life style changes!!
LikeLike
I hadn’t really set any resolutions, but I just told another blogger that I needed to improve getting gifts and cards mailed on time. So, if I follow your post, this should be a goal. I know why I want to do it. I have already started by setting up my calendar with early reminders. Happy 2015!
LikeLike
That is why we like to set up ones which are funny and are meant simply for fun!
LikeLike
If it is for fun, it is not real. So it won’t hurt.
But there are many people who get frustrated by the end of January 😦
I used to be one of them. It was not fun for me 🙂
LikeLike
You have a point.
Allow me to share this one with you:
https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2015/01/01/a-new-year-resolution-for-couch-potatoes/
LikeLiked by 1 person
I will read that 🙂
as a former potato :)))
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your third point pretty much sums up my feeling about resolutions. They always seem to be such huge changes, proposed with little to no attention to how it will be achieved. I always feel that quantifiable changes are the best, and small ones at that. Once the small details have been achieved, we can move on to the bigger ones.
Thanks for providing this food for thought.
LikeLike
I totally agree with what you posted especially your first point. Procrastination is like a worm that keeps eating into ones time. and before one realises, it’s half the year already. Nice one
LikeLike
Thanks Elma 🙂
LikeLike
I quit making them a few years back & I don’t intend to get back on it though but if this works for you & the many others who’ve commented here. so be it. I’m glad it does. everyone has to keep finding their correct formula to make things work. thumbs up!
LikeLike
I really enjoyed your blog; I will read it regularly. 🙂 Some of my resolutions have numbers and goals. Meditation is 5X/week and blogging is 3X/week. Some are, as you say in your post, nebulous and lacking in proper definition. I will work on that. My next stop is reading about your Project35 and seeing if I should start one.
Good luck with all your goals. When is your defense?
LikeLike
I am so happy to read this! See, I was very frustrated abou the defense. It will be tomorrow. It is not the final defense but it still frustrates me as I will have nothing new to say 🙂
I hope you start your own project! I already inspired 2 people yesterday and one of them already created her blog accordingly. I want to help through the way too.
And blogging everyday helps a lot 🙂
Please keep in touch. I want to hear more about you.
Thank you so much 🙂
LikeLike
This is fantastic and exactly why New Years resolutions are no good! Thanks for sharing this!
LikeLiked by 1 person
thank you so much :))
LikeLike